Thoughts on today

I went through Chick fil-A's drive through today and the cashier told me as I was driving away to "enjoy my day".  Usually one hears "have a good day", or "have a nice day", but this was the first time I recall anyone using the word "enjoy".  I wanted to say "I'll try", but instead what came out was "Thank you, you too".  I've never really thought about "enjoying" my day, (unless something special was planned) usually it's filled with errands, cleaning, and job searching. 

I sort of wanted to tell the woman at Chick fil-A "how am I suppose to enjoy my day when all I seem to think about is NOT having a job"?  Of course, I would never say that to someone that obviously is being friendly and showing excellent customer service.  Which brings me to my next point.  Do we stop and really LISTEN to the response after we ask how someone is, or how their weekend was?  Most of the time, people say "I'm fine", or "my weekend was nice".  That usually ends the conversation.  However, I bet most people would love to REALLY tell you how their weekend was.  I can hear some responses now:  "Well, I had to take my kids to softball games, had to fit in grocery shopping in the midst of trying to figure out how to get the laundry done, and then I'm suppose to weed the yard, and then...".   Can you imagine if we were all very honest about the not-so-glamorous weekends?  I think our listeners would actually pass out from boredom or look at us like we need therapy.  They would probably think:  "Geez, all I did was ask her how she was, I didn't expect a dissertation on her life".

I digress...I'm trying to stay positive in the midst of not having a job, but as the days pass, it becomes harder and harder.  I want to scream to the world (or maybe to a few hiring managers), "I'm a great worker!  I have my Bachelor of Arts degree!  I have fifteen years experience in Marketing!  HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME DARN IT!"  But alas, the screams are muted by reality, and I do not wish my neighbors thinking I am the crazy lady.  So, I keep trucking along and looking for positive ways to keep motivated.  I will try to enjoy my days, I'll look for that ray of sunshine to admire, appreciate, and relish in.  If only it is for a few moments.

What I've learned from losing my job

It's been six months and I am still unemployed.  As frustrating as this is, I have learned quite a few things about myself during this trying period.  I like bulleted lists, so I'm going to break down the items, below:

1. I need a set schedule every day.  My husband told me this since day one of my unemployment, and I didn't WANT to believe him.  But, I need a schedule.  I need to get up at a certain time and have a list of items I'd like to accomplish that day, even if I write down "mop floor, job search, make dinner".  Seems futile, but I need structure.  And, it works...try it.  Make a list the night before of items you want to accomplish.  The best part is crossing off those things you did during the day.  It's a trick for you to one, keep your sanity, and two, to keep record of the fact you're not laying around the house all day in your PJ's eating pints of Ben and Jerry's.  However, if you do wish to laze around the house one day, it's okay.  Just don't make a habit of it.  And, maybe make a list of how many pints of Chunky Monkey you eat.  Just kidding.
2. I need a savings plan.  If you're like me and you're on unemployment, it's pretty sad the amount the government gives you.  For me, I've taken an 80% pay cut.  It's rather disheartening when I've worked most days of my life since the age of 18.  However, it's made me realize I need to cut expenses and save where I can.  Losing my job was a nice, hard, slap in the face that when times are fruitful, SAVE.  Because, you never know when times will change, and your income will drastically decrease.  I started saving what I can and limiting what I spend money on (do I REALLY need that Venti Starbucks Skim Latte today)?  Start small...if it's $1 a week, then be it.  After six months, you'll have $24.  Okay, not millions, but after time, you'll realize you can do without certain things and live on a lot less.  In addition, when you are employed again, you'll think back on today and it's frugality and remember you NEVER want to be in this situation again.  SAVE my friends, SAVE.
3. I need to get out of the (enter your preferred swear word here) house.  Even if it's for a walk to the library.  It will revive you.  You need interaction with other humans.  You just cannot have the same communication with your cat 'Mittens' as you can with Bob, the librarian.  Strike up a conversation with someone.   Who knows, they may be a contact for your next job opportunity. 
4. I need to help others so...Volunteer.  There's nothing better than helping someone else who is in need, or in many cases worse off than you.  Volunteering by helping others puts your situation in perspective, and honestly, kicks you in the butt.  You start thinking "what do I have to complain about?" as you realize people in your neighborhood are malnurished, abusing drugs, or victims of domestic abuse.  Charities are dying for volunteers, and there is just not enough to support thier needs.  So, get out there and help.  It costs nothing and helps so much.  A good place to start is Volunteers of America's website.  You'll find local resources to assist in your volunteer efforts:  http://www.voa.org/Get-Involved/Volunteer/Volunteer_Locally

Keeping sane during times of unemployment

Yesterday was a bad mental day.  I barely was able to get out of bed.  I didn't want to run (which is not like me), I didn't want to clean (which is REALLY not like me), and all I felt like doing was sitting in front of the tube and being a couch potato.  I've had a few days like this, but yesterday, I felt like I was going to lose my mind.  First off, it's January, and it's Ohio.  Now, there is not tons of snow on the ground, but it's dreary and gray.  Secondly, I felt like the world was against me, that I had done something in my life that warranted not having a job for six months, that I committed some horrible sin that I was paying for. 

A psychologist I recently became familiar with talked about mental "garbage", which explains those people who are depressed often carry around thier "garbage truck" of poor past decisions, failed marriage, failed jobs, etc.  Depressed people more often carry this around with them than those who have not been depressed.  This was interesting to me because often times, when I am especially low, I begin to think of why I lost my job (was it me, what did I do), my past indiscretions (that night at the bar where I had too many), and my divorce to my first husband (again, what did I do).  Normally, I have these feeling contained, and I can push them out of my head fairly quickly and get back onto a positive note.  However, yesterday, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I felt so down.

As someone who has a history of depression, I want to quickly offer some tips for keeping sane during unemployment.  Note:  you do not have to be depressed (clinically or otherwise), to benefit from these tips:

• Go to bed at the same time every night -- this allows to stay on the same schedule each day.
• GET OUT OF BED at a reasonable time (i.e. 9:00 a.m., not noon)
• Exercise!  Even if it is in front of the TV watching old episodes of Sweatin' to the Oldies with Richard Simmons! Moving your body is one of the best things you can do when you are down
• Eat healthfully -- try a new diet.  Instead of meat, try tofu.  Or, eat more greens.  Remember, your body fuels itself based on what you put inside it.  Hamburgers and french fries every day will make you feel sluggish - who needs that ?
• Keep a support system.  Who is in your life you can talk to / trust?  Family, friends, someone at church?  Now is not the time to "be tough" and tell yourself you can handle it.  You can't.  You need PEOPLE.  Don't shut yourself out from those who care and love you. 
• Push yourself.  I mean this with all my being. Getting out of bed every day can be the most trying thing you can do.  However, pull the inner strength you have inside and force yourself to do it.  You'll feel better, I promise. 

That's all for now.  I hope this blog helps one person out there.  If it does, I am a happy woman.

In August of 2012, I lost my job as a Sales Operations Manager.  I thought this will be like the other three times I've lost a job due to downsizing, and I'll find another one quickly.  It's now almost six months later, and I've yet to find a job.  I've had a few interviews and have received several phone calls from recruiters, but none so far have panned out.  Working in Ohio my entire life, I've realized that when you are employed by a business, you can be eliminated in a moment's notice without warning or even a plausible reason. 

I would like to leave the state, however, ties to my family and a special circumstance mortgage prevent me from doing so.  It's entirely too frustrating for me to understand how a person with fifteen years professional marketing and business management experience, and a Bachelor of Arts degree can spend almost six months searching for a job without landing one.  I'm marketable, darn't!  Or, so, at least I've been told.

Ohio is one of the highest foreclosure states, and one of the top states for unemployment.  In fact, as of November, 2012 1 in every 458 housing units are in foreclosure (national average is 1 in every 728).  Pretty grim.  I am grappling with the possibility of losing my home, however, the State of Ohio currently has a program called Restoring Stability, A Save the Dream Ohio Initiative (https://www.restoringstability.org/)  for those home owners struggling to pay thier mortgage do to unemployment, underemployment, or other extenuating circumstances.  My friend mentioned this program to me in November of 2012.  Before this, I had no idea it existed. 

I am hoping that the State will come through and help to save my home.  In the mean time, I am feverishly searching for a job, and relying on my faith (and my wonderful husband) to get me through.  Job loss and stress over not being able to pay my mortgage are two pretty big rocks to climb, and I hope that those suffering from one or both circumstances find my blog helpful, even if it is to know someone else is going through the same tribulations.